Saturday, 30 March 2019

Pregnacy Diary - Part 1

The news is out – I’m pregnant!

So just to go waaay back to the start of this, I came off my pill September 2017 because it just wasn’t working for me, my skin was the worst it’s ever been, my mood swings were getting out of control and I’d started to get really down about it. So, I made the decision to let my body get back to the usual cycles (which did take a good few months and even then my periods were never like clockwork)

David and I obviously then had a conversation around me no longer being on contraception and at this point we just said we’d go with it and see what happened – we had our own house, good jobs, so if I were to fall pregnant, we were in a stable situation and knew we both wanted a family in the future.

Fast forward 11 months and nothing had happened. I would like to say at this point I wasn’t really tracking ovulation (I was using the app Natural Cycles to track my periods) it was difficult with my cycles not being regular etc but we did start to think that maybe something might be wrong.

August 2018 we got engaged and were beginning to start the process of planning the wedding for 2020 as that would be our 10 year anniversary year (and would hopefully give us a little more time to save!) In November, we parked the wedding planning and decided to enjoy Christmas and start up venue hunting again in the New Year.

Late November/early December I was expecting my period, I was already a few days late but didn’t think anything of it as this was quite normal for me. Got to 15th Dec and I woke up that Saturday morning and just thought, “I’ll do a test today just to double check.” Much to my surprise, the test came back positive! Two little lines. It was such a surreal moment walking back into the bedroom holding the test with a look of shock on my face that David didn’t even have to ask what the result was. David went straight out and bought a digital one just so we could be 100% and again, that came back positive – the word pregnant flashed up on the little window then a few seconds later 2-3 weeks. After the initial shock wore off, we were absolutely over the moon!

I’d had no symptoms (apart from my boobs being a bit sore but I thought that was just because my period was due!) no sickness, no food aversions, nothing! With it being Christmas time and seeing our families a lot we decided to tell them as they would wonder why I wasn’t drinking but it felt like such a special time to share our news.

After the excitement of telling our families had faded I found the very early weeks of my pregnancy a worrying and quite lonely time. Obviously I had David and our family who were great but it’s just a very surreal and strange few weeks when your medical appointments seems so far away and all you want is the reassurance that everything is okay in there. We opted to have an early private scan just before 10 weeks as I was getting more anxious every day and it was the best money we’ve ever spent. Hearing the sonographer say “yes, there’s the heartbeat” are words I will never forget.

Overall, the first trimester was a strange time for me, luckily I’d had no morning sickness at all only a little bit of nausea but what I didn’t realise was how all-consuming it was going to be, despite the lack of symptoms. My brain was on overdrive 24/7, I was stupidly googling every little thing to see if it was bad news, lying awake at night thinking of everything that could go wrong. If I could go back to those early weeks, I’d tell myself to relax and enjoy it as I look back on that time now as a blur of worry instead of excitement.

I’m now writing this at 20 weeks, after seeing our August baby at the scan this week (very tempted to find out the gender but we resisted!) I will be updating my journey on here as I enjoyed going into my second trimester and everything that has come with it - there's been quite a lot of change! 

Alex x